i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
