I love black thongs
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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