Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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