Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
