strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
