just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
