Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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