Plan B is the new Plan A
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize