in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
