You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
