dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
