Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
