She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
