omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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