i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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