Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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