so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
