how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
