2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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