my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
