nut hugger
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
ok first of all what the fuck
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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