Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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