youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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