i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
