He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
