Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
