Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
