i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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