I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize