Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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