Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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