if you like me you must not know who I am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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