so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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