I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize