I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
