Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
