i was born a porn star she said
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize