You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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