We won't sleep together?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
