I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
