and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
