I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
