Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
