How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
