I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize