Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
