38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
