So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
