Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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