Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
