Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
