Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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