Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
