I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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