The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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