was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We are all done wearing pants today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
