It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize