Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
