I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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